Wednesday, July 30, 2014

This is not a drill

Alright, internet followers.  You guys have never seen me with my rage face on, so this will be a new experience for all of you.  In case it wasn’t obvious that I was raised in a working class family from Boston, this should clear up any doubts. 

As everyone who reads this blog knows, a few days ago I found out that one of my best friends was using my credit card to make unauthorized purchases.  She did this several times over about a four month period.  During this time, I saw her several times and communicated with her regularly because, you know, she was my friend.  At no time did she ever tell me that had stolen from me.  She did not confess.  She got caught. 
The day after I confronted her and she admitted to illegal use of my credit card, I received a message.  In this message, this person told me that she had tried to pay the charges.  He knew because he had been with her when she bought the money order.  He admitted to knowing that she had stolen from me and not telling me. 
As you can imagine, I was pretty pissed.  Because now not only did this woman steal from me when I was relying on her to HELP ME DO BASIC THINGS, but this guy, who knows me AND KNOWS THAT I AM REALLY FUCKING SICK, did nothing to stop the situation.
So I told him that he should have told me and he pulled out the now infamous line of “I didn’t do it and I didn’t condone it.”  And he thinks that he had no responsibility to stop or report these crimes even though he is a grown fucking person who should understand right and wrong.
He also said such things as “It wasn’t malicious” (stealing from me when I was trying really hard to hold my life together) and “she tried to pay it.” But then, my favorite:
“I sincerely hope you don’t [end up in the hospital over this.] I know how bad stress affects you.”
And:
“Anyone that knows me, knows I care and would help anyone.”
Right.
So let’s recap. 
He knew she stole from me.
He knew I was sick.
He knew she only had my credit card because I was sick.
He knew that stress would negatively impact my health.
He did not report her crimes to me or anyone else in a position to facilitate a positive outcome.
But don’t worry, guys!  He cares and would help anyone.
Being as I am a human being with fucking feelings, when I realized what she had done, I reached out to my friends and family for support.  You know, because the stress of this was guaranteed to make me really sick and I was going to need even more support than usual.  And then I wrote up a post about it. 
The reason for this was contrition.  I put up that post to validate every person who had ever told me that she wasn’t trustworthy.  I put it up as my way of apologizing for not listening to the multitude of people who warned me about her.  I didn’t put it up because I was angry at her, because I’m not anger was what I was feeling toward her at that point.  I put it up because I was angry at myself for being so naïve.
As you can imagine, people began to come forward with their own experiences with this person.  And while this was happening, this guy was posting mopey things on Facebook about being disappointed in himself.  Well, you should fucking be disappointed in yourself.  And people called him on his bullshit.  And he lost friends over it. 
Then today, he sent the following message to one of my dearest friends:
“All of you dragged me into something I didn’t know about till the other day saying I’m to blame too.  On top of that, this is an issue with her and Lisa and what ever legal intervention Lisa decides to do.  It’s not the business of anyone else.  Nobody is perfect and should not start [talking] about others especially when it’s none of their business.”
And my gorgeous, witty, will be there holding my hand at the fucking end friend said:
“An egregious action committed against my close, dear friend is my business.  She’s like family to me, and she needs all the love and support she can get, especially when her world has been shattered by such a betrayal.
I’ve made mistakes in my life.  But I (and several other people close to Lisa) have never done ANYTHING along the lines of openly lying to and stealing from a gravely ill human being who trusted them completely. It’s a shocking, sickening, disgusting act, and it will hang over your heads for the rest of your life. (…)
This isn’t some little white lie someone told.  This is one of the worst acts of humanity I have ever witnessed, and it will never be forgotten by anyone.”
Alright, let’s take a look at what happened here.

He is upset because people found out that he knew she stole from her sick friend and he didn’t do anything.  Cry me a FUCKING RIVER.    
Then he talks about how this is a private matter between her and me.  Let’s consider the following scenario.
You are in a bank.  You are just standing there, waiting to do bank things.  Someone runs in, punches the teller in the face, grabs a bunch of money and runs out. 
When the cops show up and ask you what happened, do you say, “Sorry, this is a private matter between the teller and that guy who just stole that money?”  No, you fucking do not.  Because that would be absurd.  Because YOU HAD KNOWLEDGE OF A CRIME AND CRIMINALS SHOULD BE STOPPED. 
The best part is the idea that we shouldn’t be talking about what this woman did because we have all made mistakes.  Hey, did you guys make the mistake where you preyed upon a severely ill friend?  No?  Hey, me neither! 
I’m starting to get the impression that the fact that I am sick is perceived as me being weak.
I am not weak.
I am a fucking warrior. 
So, let me be really, really clear because somehow this message is STILL not getting across to all involved parties.
If you are this person:
I have not contacted you, nor will I, ever again.
Do not contact me.
Do not contact my family.
Do not contact my friends.  If you are unclear who they are, you can refer to your mental list of everyone who made it known yesterday that they don’t want anything to do with you anymore.
You do not get to watch a person victimize someone else and say nothing and cry about your hurt fucking feelings when people find out about it. 
You had a chance to do the right thing.
You chose not to do it.
You don’t want people to blame you for not doing the right thing.
Too bad.
Fuck you.
Stay the fuck away from me.

 

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