Magic and the unknown

I have been reading tarot cards since I was eight years old.  My great-aunt read cards and tea leaves in her den, large sharp crystals adorning various shelves and table tops.  She would take out her deck when I came to visit and show me the smooth cards, the illustrations worn after so much touching but still strange and beautiful.  She would lay them down in elaborate patterns and tell me my future. 

Tarot decks tell a full story.  There are 78 cards, 56 cards divided into four suits representative of the four elements, and 22 Major Arcana cards.  “Arcana means secrets,” my great-aunt told me quietly, lining up these cards. “These cards tell the story of life.” 

It starts with The Fool, naïve and just starting his journey.  He begins to acquire knowledge and sees himself as important, becoming the Magician.  The High Priestess knows that he does not yet have knowledge of the divine.  She is the keeper of secrets, a powerful and mysterious woman.  The Magician ascends to the Emperor, wanting to control the things happening around him, not yet realizing that some things are fated.  He learns about faith and religion from the Hierophant, and this knowledge propels him into adulthood, becoming one of the Lovers. 

He begins to struggle, as observed by the Chariot.  He learns about Justice and becomes the Hermit, retreating from the world.  But the Fates have other plans for him, spinning their Wheel.  He learns about Strength and discipline.  He sacrifices himself to be resurrected with greater understanding in the Hanged Man.  He accepts this Death and transition to an evolved state of being, where he at first exercises Temperance before being tempted by the Devil.  In the distance, a Tower rises, a dark and dangerous omen of chaos to come. 

But even in this darkness, he can still make out the Star, an omen of renewed hope.  He struggles to understand his path as seen in the Moon, but in the Sun, he has achieved happiness and success.  At the end of his life, he undergoes a Judgment before transition to the next World.  Then the cycle begins again.

I’m very good at reading cards.  I don’t pretend to know how it works, but it does.  Skeptics tell me I “cold read,” and just use ambigious terms until the person gives me clues.  That’s not what I do.  I don’t read for money and never have, so there’s no reason for me to do that.  I just lay them out and they tell the truth. 

The fact that I read cards exists in direct contradiction to my nature as a scientist.  I like facts and data.  But some things can’t be known in this way.  There are some things that cannot be explained.  I think the world is better for this fact.  It is important to feel this magic in ordinary things.  It allows for the possibility that anything can happen.

My great-aunt died many years ago.  My cards were hers before they were mine.  I don’t read cards for myself, but sometimes when I am anxious or scared, I take them out of their wooden box and flip through them.  The familiar images are soothing.  It’s like receiving counsel from old friends.

Tarot decks tell the same essential story, but the details, especially the Minor Arcana, or the suited cards, vary a lot.  My deck tells the story of King Arthur and the search for the Holy Grail, from the viewpoints of the women.  Morrigan le Fay, Guinevere, the Lady of the Lake all had their own trials before they moved to the next world.  Their paths were epic, fated. 

It comforts me to think that you can only ever have so much control.  No matter what the data says, there is always a chance that it could be wrong.  None of us really know what will happen.  There is always some magic that cannot be accounted for.